Many Sides Of The Same Me

All too often I have had to battle with my two personas. The one that is the vulnerable, insecure and slightly introverted (yes believe it or not I am actually very shy around new people and situations). The other that is my ‘game face’, the one that is confident, self-assured and charismatic.

As God has taken me on a journey of self-discovery I have started to do some serious self-analysis and self development (unavoidable use of the word ‘self’ lol). What I have had time to uncover is that I don’t have two sides to my personality I actually have 100’s of sides that all make up who I am as a person.

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Learning How To Use All The Sides Of Myself

Abraham Maslow, a leading humanistic psychologist of the day, is perhaps most well-known for his hierarchy of needs theory.

His theory proposes that human beings have certain needs in common and that these needs must be met in a certain order. These needs range from the most basic physiological needs for survival to higher-level self-actualization and transcendence needs.

I believe that as we grow and evolve so do our needs and as such different sides of ourselves must take the lead. I have reached a place in my life where I have identified what the strongest and weakest sides of my whole self are but most importantly I am now developing the skills to determine what life situations requires which side of me needs to take the lead. What this gives me is a season/chapter in my life where I am feeling a harmonious balance of knowing and driving forward my purpose with the certainty that the strongest side of me is steering me in the right direction.

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My 4 Guiding Principles For Overcoming Adversity

As I celebrate my 42 years on this earth I am just reaching the self-actualisation stage of Maslow’s needs theory. It’s been almost 5 years since my life changed and the road here has been rough, painful, lonely, sad, angry, suicidal and every negative emotion that I felt was all necessary!

Necessary because with every fall there has been a rise, for every battle there has been a victory, for every test there is now my story of survival to share with others in order to give them hope.

If you are going through a period of transition in your life, I would like to help by giving you some of things I have done to help me reach a place on inner peace.

1. Ask - My faith and love for God is my sole anchor, God has loved me, supported me, challenged me and never let me down. Prayer has been and continues to be my hotline to God and I talk to him about everything. In order to heal I had to ask him for what I needed, I had to ask him to help me and be very specific with what I was asking for.

2. Visualise & Believe - Everything I do is intentional and because of that I spend a fair bit of time in prayer visualising what I want. For example last year I prayed and asked God to give me a purpose centred on helping others to realise they have more strength that they know and that they can use that to make positive change happen. I started to visualise what type of things that I wanted to do and then I started to believe and act as if I had already received what I was visualising and asking for.

3. Receive - The breakthrough came when in 2019 I studied and set up my Equality consultancy where I now help organisations to create more culturally tolerant environments where all people can feel valued and develop. I started writing and publishing this blog which is helping people all over the world to find hope. I am developing my love for music learning how I can use it to help others heal through my course at Elim Sounds School of Worship and I am now working with a Christian charity who’s mission is to introduce Jesus to a billion people through digital evangelism.

4. Be Grateful and Pay It Forward - This one is super important. I have NOT and will NOT ever forget to give continued thanks for all that I have been through and for all that I have been given. Also my purpose is to give others an opportunity to grow whether that be through serving in ministry, consulting on creating a fair working environment for others to grow or writing to you in a blog.

This process is call Them Law of Attraction.

You attract in life what you ask for and focus on whether that be positive of negative thoughts. So start to ask and think about what you want to overcome and achieve, then start to believe that you have already received it. And finally always give thanks for what you have been given and put positive energy back into the lives of others to help them grow.

Through the darkness of whatever you may be going through learn to embrace all of yourself and steer yourself in the direction to love life and live it people.

Now I am off to celebrate my birthday.

Stay Blessed

Ax